The Real Pokémon Saga Not Shown On TV!
by Sapphire Staliktis
Summary: Rogue and Evra are two sixteenyearold trainers just beginning their Pokémon journeys and are forced to encounter a stoned Professor, Nurse Roy, Officer Benny, evil exotic dancer villians, and new friends!
1. Magikarps, Abras, And Illegal Behaviour

**The Real Pokémon Saga (Not Shown On TV)**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Pokémon or any Pokémon listed within. However, I do own all of the humans!

**About:** I've always thought that I could produce a great Pokémon saga. So I did.

EPISODE ONE: MAGIKARPS, ABRAS, AND ILLEGAL BEHAVIOUR

Usually, people began their Pokémon journey at the age of ten by going to a respectable Professor and getting a starter Pokémon. However, some people are the exception to this fact. There is a case of two of these exception peoples living in Lettuce Town. They were both sixteen--a male and a female--who had been friends since diapers, though they didn't always act like it. He was Evra, and she was Rogue. He stood 6'1", 144 lbs, shoulder-length blond hair, and brown eyes. She stood 5'8", 136 lbs, waist-length brown hair, and green eyes. And they went to Professor Pine for their Poké advice.

Professor Pine was once a respectable and credible Pokémon Professor. Then, he got older and did a lot of drugs. The drugs messed with his head quite greatly, but Evra and Rogue didn't know this.

"Professor Pine!" Rogue yelled as she pounded on his front door. "Professor Pine, get out here!"

The door finally opened, and Professor Pine staggered out smelling of alcohol and wearing only his favourite pair of tighty-whities. "Yes, yes, what do you kids want?" he asked while lighting up a cigarette.

"We need our starter Pokémon, Professor Pine, remember!" Evra asked.

Professor Pine coughed. "Oh, yes, your starters…"

"We called you last night and asked you to have the ready for us today, Professor," Rogue reminded him.

"They are ready," Professor Pine said. "Hold on a second." He went back into his laboratory.

Evra and Rogue were left waiting outside. "500 yen says he passes out inside and never comes back out," Evra challenged.

Rogue accepted the challenge. "500 yen says he returns." She was more trusting of Professor Pine than Evra was because Evra had seen the disturbing incident involving Professor Pine, a cow, and a few tubes of lubricant. He was never the same again.

Within minutes, Professor Pine stepped back outside with two Pokèballs in hand. Rogue quickly pocketed Evra's 500 yen prize money. "Two starter Pokémon," he declared, dropping a Pokéball into each teenager's hand. "Have fun."

"Wait, Professor Pine!" Rogue interrupted, stopping the Professor as he was about to return to his drug-and-booze-filled laboratory. "What Pokémon are they?"

Professor Pine stared at them for a moment. "I honestly have no idea."

A few minutes later, Evra and Rogue stood just inside the forest, the forest that would dish out a two-day walk before arriving in Corn City, and analyzed their seconds-before released starters.

"You've gotta be shitting me…" Rogue groaned.

"Kill me now!" Evra agreed.

Rogue was now in the possession of a lively Magikarp, while Evra had been blessed with an Abra. Sure, they would be valuable weapons once their evolutions concluded--who wouldn't like to have a Gyarados and an Alakazam on their teams--but now they were pretty…

Worthless.

"What the hell are we going to do with these!" Evra complained.

"I guess…hang onto them for now, and then drop them off at the Pokémon Daycare and leave them there until they become giant killing machines of death," suggested Rogue.

"And in the meantime…?"

"Caterpie!" Rogue screamed, tossing a rock at the worm-like Pokémon. It was knocked into a daze. Rogue tossed a Pokéball and caught the Caterpie without hesitation, then picked up the Pokéball and clipped it to her belt. "Crisis averted, for me at least," she said.

"I think that's illegal…" Evra muttered,

Rogue spun around on her heels. "Tell you what," she challenged, "I'll let you borrow my Magikarp, and then I'll take notes as you Splash and Teleport a Pokémon into a Pokéball!"

Evra scowled, then picked up a rock and searched for a Pidgey.


	2. Nurse Roy

EPISODE TWO: NURSE ROY

So now, Rogue and Evra had two Pokémon each: Rogue (Magikarp, Caterpie) and Evra (Abra, Pidgey). They felt set to take on the Pokémon World! But first they had to eat dinner: soup (blades of grass and spit) and biscuits (mushrooms that may or may not be poisonous).

"Dude, this sucks big balls, man," Evra groaned as he and Rogue sat on the forest floor staring in disgust at their sad excuse for a meal.

"Do we actually have to eat this crap!" Rogue whined.

"D'ya have anything else in mind?" Evra asked.

Their stomachs growled.

They sighed. They had been so excited about getting their first Pokémon that they had failed to pack any edible substances whatsoever. If they didn't hurry up and get to Corn City, they figured that it wouldn't be long before they started eating Pokémon. Or resorting to cannibalism.

"Maybe we should go back, grab some grub, and then set out again tomorrow," Rogue suggested.

Evra scoffed. "Forget about it, Rogue!" he shot down. "If we go back, we may just resort back to fun on the PlayStation 2! We've gotta keep going and tough it out!"

"And what? Starve to death?"

"I heard that fried human fingers taste good."

"Well, do you care to contribute?" Rogue questioned. "I'm not."

Their stomachs growled again. Evra picked up a blade of grass and held it in front of his face. A glob of spit dripped off of it. He dropped it back into the pile in repulsion. "Screw it, I'm not eating this shit."

"So, what are we going to do, then!" Rogue demanded.

Evra stood up and shouldered his near-empty backpack. "Let's go," he said.

"Go where?" Rogue asked suspiciously, rising as well.

"To Corn City," he replied. "The more we travel, the sooner we'll get there!"

And he was right. By noon the next day, and through the wonder of walking non-stop, they arrived in Corn City and headed straight for the city's Pokémon Centre…where they collapsed onto the floor.

"Oh my!" cried out Nurse Roy in surprise, leaping out from behind the front desk in his little pink dress. "Are you two okay!"

"Food…" croaked Evra.

"Water…" added Rogue.

Nurse Roy hurriedly grabbed them by their legs and dragged them across the floor until he reached the cafeteria. There, he pulled them up and sat them on stools at a table. Finally, he got three bowls of chicken noodle soup, several soft and flaky biscuits, three servings of yogurt with fruit added, and big glasses of apple juice, placed them in front of the teenagers, and sat down across from them to eat.

"How long have you guys been without food?" Nurse Roy asked as Evra and Rogue ate faster than he'd ever seen someone do before.

"Only a day," said Evra in between bites of food, "but we've been walking this whole time."

"We got here all the way from Lettuce Town in only a day!" Rogue added, shoving a whole biscuit into her mouth and downing it with a big gulp of her juice.

"Only a day!" Nurse Roy repeated. "Speedy little devils, aren't you?" He was quite an attractive man, with long spikey hair and big blue eyes, smooth and shaved legs, and slight stubble on his lower face. He also loved his nurse outfit. And kittens.

"We had no food," Rogue replied. "We were in a hurry."

"I wish you had waited until tomorrow to show up though," admitted Nurse Roy.

"Why?" Evra and Rogue asked together.

"Because Team Cock-It are rumoured to be dropping in town today."

"Team Cock-It?" Rogue repeated.

"Who's Team Cock-It?" Evra asked. "A horde of gangbangers?"

"No," Nurse Roy corrected. "There's two of them--Seviena and Rollo--they're a team of exotic dancers. _Evil_ exotic dancers."

"Evil how?" asked Evra.

"They distract people with their dancing act, and then steal their Pokémon!" Nurse Roy explained. "They're the two most prominent members of the organization."

"So there are more of these Cock-Its?" Rogue asked.

"Greatly; it's a huge organization." Shouts of awe, joy, and 'how sinful!' from some conservatives erupted in the lobby. "And now they're here."


End file.
